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"..... is why i have to believe in something bigger than me. Because if i didnt, that powerlessness will eat me alive."
-grey's anatomy
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BiingYih
31 January 2010 @ 07:24 pm
"..... is why i have to believe in something bigger than me. Because if i didnt, that powerlessness will eat me alive."
18 December 2009 @ 06:23 pm
08 November 2009 @ 07:53 pm
Din-ate resturant was no fancy resturant. It was just a mediocre chinese resturant with a rather dull setting and relatively bad-tasting food. It did, however, fit adequetly in the suburban neighbourhood of the district. People who pastronised the resturant were also not too classy and all. They were but average beings who are well off enough to lead comfortable lives with resturant treats once in awhile.
It was around 3pm. A time which is rather late for lunch. The guests were all finishing up their hearty gatherings with photos and desserts while the staff scurries around to prepare for the onslaught at dinner time. People were all scattered around. The tables were littered with scrapes and half filled glasses of cold tea. The table cloths were stained with all kinds of sauces that have turned brown. They looked like stale blood stains, left behind by a dead zebra corpse after being feasted upon by a pack of hungry vultures. The thing about chinese dining, as i had overheard from a stranger's conversation with his partner, is that the diners would feast on a common serving of food. In a way it exemplifies the communal spirit which we, chinese people, hold with such high regards.
On a certain table in the midst of the hustling, father and son settled down to have their food. Their table has already been stripped off its table cloth. Father looked like he was in his early forties. He had a rugged look and a stout build with grey hair probably from the laborious work as a blue collar worker. Son looked like he was still in lower secondary. He was a chubby boy. His eyes were glowing as Father swooped dish after dish of delights from the dim sum tramp that was on its last few rounds to finish up whatever that was left. For that moment, it was as though nothing else in the world matter to them as they ate on. They were indifferent of the surrounding hustle bustle. They would have made a photo finish picture of what being blissful is.
It was around 3pm. A time which is rather late for lunch. The guests were all finishing up their hearty gatherings with photos and desserts while the staff scurries around to prepare for the onslaught at dinner time. People were all scattered around. The tables were littered with scrapes and half filled glasses of cold tea. The table cloths were stained with all kinds of sauces that have turned brown. They looked like stale blood stains, left behind by a dead zebra corpse after being feasted upon by a pack of hungry vultures. The thing about chinese dining, as i had overheard from a stranger's conversation with his partner, is that the diners would feast on a common serving of food. In a way it exemplifies the communal spirit which we, chinese people, hold with such high regards.
On a certain table in the midst of the hustling, father and son settled down to have their food. Their table has already been stripped off its table cloth. Father looked like he was in his early forties. He had a rugged look and a stout build with grey hair probably from the laborious work as a blue collar worker. Son looked like he was still in lower secondary. He was a chubby boy. His eyes were glowing as Father swooped dish after dish of delights from the dim sum tramp that was on its last few rounds to finish up whatever that was left. For that moment, it was as though nothing else in the world matter to them as they ate on. They were indifferent of the surrounding hustle bustle. They would have made a photo finish picture of what being blissful is.
08 November 2009 @ 06:03 pm
Dont we all just love ourselves so much.
Like the aged lady; who goes to her hairdresser to get her golden dye frequent enough to keep the white strands from sprouting out too obviously. Who wears a thick makeup to hide the lines. Who nonchalantly sits crosslegged just right beside the 'Reserved Seat' on the mrt.
Like that guy; who has had only two brief relationships that didnt even see their own 1 month anniversaries. Who is ever so eager to give his own advices on the affairs of the heart. Who is not receptive of others' opinions.
Like the homosexual teenage in this conservative society; whose parents can only grieve in silence and pray helplessly for the better. Who tries so hard to hide his affection towards his new found guy friends. Who cannot contain his overwhelming delight being around so many guys.
Like the aged lady; who goes to her hairdresser to get her golden dye frequent enough to keep the white strands from sprouting out too obviously. Who wears a thick makeup to hide the lines. Who nonchalantly sits crosslegged just right beside the 'Reserved Seat' on the mrt.
Like that guy; who has had only two brief relationships that didnt even see their own 1 month anniversaries. Who is ever so eager to give his own advices on the affairs of the heart. Who is not receptive of others' opinions.
Like the homosexual teenage in this conservative society; whose parents can only grieve in silence and pray helplessly for the better. Who tries so hard to hide his affection towards his new found guy friends. Who cannot contain his overwhelming delight being around so many guys.
Current Music: sowing season - Brand New
11 October 2009 @ 02:04 pm
"if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to dissappoint them."
-my sister's keeper by jodi picoult
08 September 2009 @ 10:34 pm
"in my mind im gone, carolina"
It was James Taylor from his Greatest Hits on my ipod. The route home was still as effortless as ever. The feeling, still, as good as ever. The road across my place, still, as busy as ever. Nine months in the force. I would not say that im already used to it. How can anyone say that they're used to being away from home? The beep on the magnetic sensored gate, still, has the same high pitch.
"guess im gone carolina, in my mind"
I tailgated and walked past the guard. I was deaf to him and all other things except James Taylor from his Greatest Hits on my ipod. I feel a grip on my elbow. It was the guard. He demanded for my access card.
Nine years i lived here, the guard demanded for my access card.
"gone carolina, innnnnnnnn my mind..."
It was James Taylor from his Greatest Hits on my ipod. The route home was still as effortless as ever. The feeling, still, as good as ever. The road across my place, still, as busy as ever. Nine months in the force. I would not say that im already used to it. How can anyone say that they're used to being away from home? The beep on the magnetic sensored gate, still, has the same high pitch.
"guess im gone carolina, in my mind"
I tailgated and walked past the guard. I was deaf to him and all other things except James Taylor from his Greatest Hits on my ipod. I feel a grip on my elbow. It was the guard. He demanded for my access card.
Nine years i lived here, the guard demanded for my access card.
"gone carolina, innnnnnnnn my mind..."
01 August 2009 @ 11:19 am
"Nevertheless, some free time remains. Whats to be done? How do you use your time? In dedicating yourself to helping people? But basically other people dont interest you. Listening to records? That used to be the solution, but as the years go by you have to say that music moves you less and less."
Michel Houellebecq - Whatever
27 June 2009 @ 10:49 pm
Dear Mr Tan
We refer to your appeal for change of progeamme from Aerospace Engineering to Accountancy.
We regret to inform you that due to keen competition your appeal has not been successful. We wish to assure you that the University Admissions Selection Committee had made a through assessment of your application, and the SAME strigent selection criteria that you were subjected to were applied uniformly to all applicants.
Give me salavation.
Give me transparency.
Give me justice.
Current Location: -not at camp-
Current Music: freeeeeeeeeee as a bird... - the beatles
21 June 2009 @ 12:24 am
What if being gay was more widely accepted in our society of tomorrow? Would you be as supportive of your gay child as you would want your parents to be, now, of your actions?
Current Music: trouble - dave matthews
11 April 2009 @ 05:59 pm
"Ashenden knew that when you have nothing apposite to say it is better to hold your tongue; and when a man has made a remark that calls to his mind for an answer, he is apt to find silence a trifle disconcerting."
05 April 2009 @ 10:29 am
Without a doubt, he is diligent in his studies and excels in everything he chooses to do. He life has so far been smooth sailing, with grades outstripping the bulk of the people and enrolling in only the best schools. He is the cream of the crop and this idea has been invariably reiterated to him in some extents of brainwashing. Only those who are deemed superior are subsumed in his circle of contacts. He speaks with brashness and thinks lowly of people who do not match up. In his society which breeds elitism, he is king.
His actions are rash, somewhat like a frienzied yeti. He does not hesitate to rebut any opinions that do not compliment his own with harsh words and coarse body gestures. He does not take things in his strides. Not a casual remark or a few finger pointings. Deep down, he harbours thoughts like "im gonna get back to you, im gonna sue your ass so badly you'd kneel before me and beg for mercy". Sometimes he blurts it out and laughs at it, sometimes he doesnt. But it is obvious when these thoughts do come, as his irrational gestures give him all away.
His actions are rash, somewhat like a frienzied yeti. He does not hesitate to rebut any opinions that do not compliment his own with harsh words and coarse body gestures. He does not take things in his strides. Not a casual remark or a few finger pointings. Deep down, he harbours thoughts like "im gonna get back to you, im gonna sue your ass so badly you'd kneel before me and beg for mercy". Sometimes he blurts it out and laughs at it, sometimes he doesnt. But it is obvious when these thoughts do come, as his irrational gestures give him all away.
28 December 2008 @ 08:38 pm
Malacca
It is a place where 4-star hotels have no carparks but empty spaces with big signs that say "Park at your own risk". It is a place with a rich culture where every other shop has something to do with the arts. Be it a sculpture shop or an artefacts shop or a gallery or a museum. A place without proper drainage and trash clearing system. But a place where people lead contented lives and artists do not have to starve. A place where singing competitions are held regularly on the streets. A place where people own their owntransport at 19,20 years old. A place where the night market is as joyous as Singapore's orchard road during christmas eve every weekend. i wont call it a paradise. But people there do lead their own ideal lives. i couldnt be happier for
*
Muar
If i lived there, i'd own my own boat at the age of 18. I'd spend everyday fishing. I'd sell the lobsters i catch at a rate of US$45 per pound to the market. I'd make singaporean tourists happy with seafood dinners at rates like 12dishes for RM150. I'd watch the sun set everyday.
25 December 2008 @ 02:37 am
Do you ever realise?
I dont know from since when did this started. In American movie flicks, there would more often than not be this random Asian character/calefare that would play a rather insignificant but very stupid and uncalled-for role. Most of the time it'd be a Chinese man who is relatively old and blading slightly. Sometimes it'd be an Indian or a Japanese man.
In "Good Luck Chuck" this old chinese man sang and danced spontaneously but poorly at a wedding scene. His screen time didnt last 3 seconds. In "50 first dates" this old chinese man said something like "are you looking at me or her? 'cos you're starting to freak me out" to Adam Sandler's character in the resturant scene where Sandler's character was staring at the female lead character. In "Norbit" Eddie Murphy played this old balding chinese man who has weird antics. In ....
It not directly racist or anything but apparently it has become a fad. The Americans think its fun. Sometimes it is but other times it gets a little insulting.
Im not taking a stand in this though.
Current Location: Christmas!!
24 December 2008 @ 12:38 am
From somewhere just now i heard something like : "tomorow is christmas eve already laaa..!"
It was only then then i realised it too. It just didnt feel like it previously.
It is ironic that in spite of all the christmas songs i played for christmas shows to create a christmasy atmosphere, i find myself falling short in soaking up the christmas feeling.
Its Christmas eve but there's no snow...
16 December 2008 @ 01:05 am
11 December 2008 @ 05:54 pm
You toss and turn in your bed. Your mind wanders all around. You think about your life. You think about your future, your past, your present (cliche crap!). You occasionally wonder if anyone is missing you at each moment in time. You stare all around your room. You imagine ghastly figures floating around and the Boogieman in your closet and some hand reaching out from under your bed to snag you. But you are not afraid. Nothing really gets to you at this age. The grinding sound of the car tires against the road comes and goes. Just like day and night. But this night ahead is long...
05 December 2008 @ 02:09 pm
02 December 2008 @ 03:11 pm
It was one of those afternoons. When the sun is supposed to be shining upon our scorching earth and make our coloured curtains glow in the day but instead, the dark clouds pulled across the sky and turned day into night. The rain was not heavy enough for your windows to be sealed. Nor was it light enough for you to be able to head out without an umbrella. It was one of those rain, that keeps on going for almost forever. I live 15 floors up. I use to be able to see the Flyer from my room. But not today. I could not see past a few blocks across the park downstairs.
Current Mood: 
nostalgic
nostalgic02 December 2008 @ 12:43 pm
'i wondered what depth of homesickness lay behind his odd choice of what to observe in a scene so unfamiliar.'
-The quiet american by Graham Greene